In my case, I usually start to procrastinate in the worst times. Whenever I’m overwhelmed with schoolwork, I start getting curious about the latest soccer scores, what other people have posted on Facebook, whether my recent grades have been posted, and start remembering songs I wanted to download. However, when I have little amounts of homework, I get them done in a very efficient way and with time to spare. I guess it has to do with the fact that when I have little homework I can focus only on that, and get it done, but when I have tons of homework, my mind is all over the place, constantly racing, and that is why it seeks distractions to be able to ‘relax’.
Now I have just been checking Facebook, and a while ago I was checking my grades. I can’t seem to help it, but anxiety beats me, and I somehow have to procrastinate. Whenever I start to procrastinate, my mind starts to rattle, and I feel impotent to the feeling of unease that overcomes me. At the moment it seems impossible for me to calm down and focus on something. Normally the feeling of being overwhelmed causes anxiety, but I have realised that, when a need of focusing comes into the picture, these three get together to create procrastination.
It is frustrating not being able to get things done. All I want is to finish this and be able to move on to the next assignment, be able to pass the page. It seems the more I want it, the longer it takes, and the more time passes, the more distant the thought of finishing seems. Procrastinating is hard, it wastes energy, it makes me frustrate even more, even though I am spending time on things that are supposed to be distracting, that are supposed to take my mind off things. I feel like I have been rambling on for hours, but even though it seems crazy, I just realized that I am well into the second page of this post, so I guess that I’m finally done now.